It was all talking and at first he released it to me ”.
The sexologist Fernando Gálligo explains that the search for immediate sex is neither positive nor negative, it all depends on the use made of it: “It is like any communication technology, it depends on the use. A good use is always an advantage in terms of breaking barriers of space and time, and a bad use can lead to a compulsion, a trivialization or an excessive objectification of people. The problem is that many times what does not have to be prepared as much, or does not cost as much, is valued less and is used worse ”. In this regard, we must not forget that Tinder is still a ‘showcase’ of people. A showcase that is repeated above, because as I could prove, the conversations that were established copied the same structure over and over again: tastes, profession and quite vague conversations. “What kind of music do you like?”, “What is your favorite color?” or “what do you like to do in your free time?” are just some examples.
For Francisco, who has been with the couple he met on Tinder for more than a year, it is like all social networks: “The tool is never bad, if it is used well there is no problem. A shotgun if a hunter uses it to get food is not bad, but if it is used to shoot people it is.
Although the application’s chat does not allow you to send photos, as a general rule, as soon as two people feel comfortable talking, they jump to WhatsApp to have a more fluid conversation. And even send photos and audios of all kinds, as I could see in my experience.
Tinder allows you to search for both sexes, but the homosexual public tends to make use of other “less limited” applications, such as Grindr. Rafael, 44 years old, explains that they have even sent him a photo in slip with a horse mask or that they have asked him to see if he had any part of his body in a cast, otherwise they would not remain with him. Jaime, 39, who also uses Grindr, has been turning off his mobile for a year when he meets people because he has come to abandon up to three or four men in the same day for others who came out in the app during the appointment.
All that glitters is not gold on Tinder. The app is full of fake and anonymous profiles. Some I came across had a photo or two where the watermark had not been removed. Others showed the generic image of Facebook, a dog or a landscape. But even the security of the app has been put in check. Last year a group of Spanish hackers managed to trick the application into placing its users on a map in real time. A danger that can be used by stalkers and that Tinder is already aware of.
But beyond the hacks, the problem is also in its users. One of its negative parts is anonymity. You can put a fake photo and spy on others. Verónica talks about a bad experience she had: “Talking after a few days, the boy started posting strange photos and when I stopped answering he bitched and insulted me, so I deleted him. Then another profile was made with fake photos, but it was him again. When I realized it, the truth scared me a lot ”.
On the other hand, other stories are more anecdotal, such as the one Sandra tells: “Once I met a boy and he was not the one in the photos at all and he was not the age I intended, I did not know where to go and out of shame I had the date with him . She took me out for coffee and showed me around the city in her car. When I left I realized that I had forgotten my jacket in his car and since I didn’t want to see him again, I ran after him until he stopped ”.
Be that as it may, we must bear in mind that the person with whom we are speaking may not be the one we believe. If risque photographs are sent, like the ones that came to me, and our interest is different, we can do a lot of harm to that person. In a bar, at least, we have a real face, but not here.
Time has become a valuable currency and we do not want to waste it. Simplicity and immediacy, the key to Tinder’s success. By the way, the date went well.
Clarification: The names that appear in this report are fictitious to preserve the identity of the users.